Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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