Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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