can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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