Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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