do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
