i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
