so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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