But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
