its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Randomize
