Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
