How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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