Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
