I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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