i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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