I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
