I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
