i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Randomize
