Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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