Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
