why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!