Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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