I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize