he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
