Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Barsexuality is the new black.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
