North Korea, Best Korea!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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