So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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