I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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