I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
