The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize