so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
