Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
