i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
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Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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