My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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