Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you win again, gameday.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
