just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We left the knife in your bed.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
