you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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