stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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