Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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