I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
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Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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