Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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