As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
