I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
