just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
