Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
