i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I got her a Nickelback box set.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
