we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Semen is not good for contacts.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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