I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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