..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Randomize
