You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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