We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
