Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
