just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
