I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
