Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
only you would photoshop your dick
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
