I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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