And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
