BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
