tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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