If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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