i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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