I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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