New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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